


Parenting is Hard

by Silvanuyx



Series: Adventures of Night Vale Babies [1]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Babies, Baby Carlos, Baby Cecil, Carlos is a Dork, Cecil is Inhuman, Eldritch Abomination Cecil, Kinda Cracky as well, M/M, but adorable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-05-09
Packaged: 2018-01-10 23:20:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1165793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvanuyx/pseuds/Silvanuyx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos gets home, and Cecil has turned in to a baby. Whoops!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cecil

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly crack, because I figured something cute would be nice after the horror I just wrote and posted.
> 
> I also have a picture for this of bby Cecil because it was so cute I had to sketch it. When I finish it, I will be posting it on my Tumblr ( silvanuyx.tumblr.com )

Carlos came home after a long day at the lab hoping that Cecil was already home and had made dinner.

He opened the apartment door and heard a screeching from the living room. He immediately dropped his bag and ran towards the noise, just to pull up short.

There was a tiny black tentacled blob in the middle of the floor, scuttling around and screeching.

“Um…” Carlos said with a blink, looking at the blob.

The thing turned three violet eyes, nestled in the tentacles, towards him. A gaping mouth opened widely beneath them, showing sharp teeth, as it screeched again.

“Cawos!”

Carlos started. “Cecil?”

“Cawos!” he called, scuttling towards Carlos. Carlos watched as four of the eight long tentacles lifted up, much like a child would lift their arms, to be picked up. “Up! Up up!” he demanded.

Carlos obeyed blankly, lifting up the tiny, tentacled mass into arms. The tiny creature trilled and reached up to curl his tentacles around Carlos’ neck.

“Cawos,” he purred softly, his body pressed up against Carlos’ face.

Carlos reached up to gently stroke Cecil, setting the tiny creature to purring.

“Okay then. I’m hungry, so I’m going to go make myself some food,” he said with a smile over at Cecil.

Cecil trilled again. “Hung’y!” he called, nipping at Carlos’ ear, making Carlos wince and check to see if he had broken the skin.

“Okay, no need to bite, dear. What do you want?” he asked, glancing at Cecil again.

Cecil purred happily, clearly considering it. “Meat!” he warbled cheerfully.

“I think I can do that. We have some beef if you want that,” Carlos replied with a small laugh, looking at Cecil as he started toward the kitchen.

“Yeah!” Cecil chirped happily.

Carlos smiled and let this tiny Cecil hang on to his neck as he went to get the steaks from the fridge.

Cecil wailed as Carlos went to get the grill pan. “No! Waw!” he shrieked.

Carlos thought about what Cecil had said. “You want it raw?”

“Yeah!”

“Can I at least sear it for you?” Carlos asked, and Cecil lightly nipped his ear again. “That’s a no.” Cecil trilled happily, and Carlos laughed. This tiny Cecil was more demanding than his normal Cecil. Not that he minded much.

So he just pulled out a knife and started to cube one of the steaks. He paused in cutting the meat, and held a piece of steak up for Cecil, who snapped it out of his hand and started to eat it.

“Hey Cecil. Is this normal?” he asked, looking at the tiny creature.

Cecil gulped down the piece of meat. “Yeah,” he warbled.

“I mean you being a small tentacle… thing.”

“Yeah,” he repeated, and Carlos nodded.

“Does it wear off?” he asked with a sigh. He was fine with his boyfriend being a tiny little tentacle thing for awhile, but not forever.

Cecil seemed to nod, his little body hitting Carlos’ neck a few times.

“Is that a yes?”

“Yeah!” he said with an impatient nip.

“Ow! New ground rule, no biting,” Carlos chided, reaching up between Cecil and his neck to see if he was bleeding. He was. Of course. Hopefully Cecil was too small and young to have venom sacs like he did when he was an adult.

Cecil whined on his shoulder, and Carlos sighed as he started to pull out the other steak to cook. “You do realize that I’m taking this really well. I get home, hoping you’ll have made dinner already, but instead you’re tiny and speaking in one word sentences. In all reality, I should probably be trying to figure out what the hell happened, but you seem okay, and I’m too tired and apparently too used to the weirdness that is Night Vale to think there’s much weird about this,” he ranted, and Cecil whined again. Carlos just sighed and lifted up another steak cube. “There you go,” he said as Cecil grabbed it and chirped as he started to eat it.

Carlos shook his head as he cooked his own steak, wondering what the hell was going on. It was too late to reasonably call anyone, but he would ask around tomorrow.

He paused.

He’d have to take Cecil with him tomorrow.

Great. Tiny little tentacle creature perching on his shoulder all day. Just what he needed.

He sighed, moved the steak on to a plate with a fork, put a few more of the meat cubes in a bowl, and went out into the living room to sit on the couch. He grabbed the TV remote and tried to find something on some channel that didn’t look horrendous. The channel selection was always limited here since the Secret Police kept things locked down fairly tight, but there was always something.

But he found something neat to watch, and Cecil’s three eyes all fixed on the screen. His longer tentacles reached up and he hauled himself up on to the top of Carlos’ head, snuggling into his hair.

Carlos brushed one of the thick tentacles out of his eye with a chuckle. Cecil whined gently, and Carlos lifted one of the meat cubes up to him. A tentacle twisted around it and Carlos could hear the sound of him chewing on the meat cube with a small purr.

Carlos smiled as he started to try to eat his own steak. He realized he forgot a knife, then shrugged, stabbed the steak, and lifted it to his mouth to rip a bite from it. Cecil make a questioning trill, and Carlos sighed, lifting the steak up for Cecil to take a bite from.

Cecil reached out a long, forked tongue to lick the steak instead of taking a bite. He made a disgusted noise and his entire body shuddered.

“Of course you would just lick it,” Carlos grumbled and pulled the steak back down to take another bite.

They stayed like that for awhile, Carlos clearing the meat and his plate when they were finished.

Carlos glanced up when Cecil started to slip forward, and Carlos held his hands out when the little creature fell forward off his head. The violet eyes snapped open when he hit Carlos’ hands, and Carlos smiled. “Let’s go to bed, my dear,” he said quietly, stroking the smooth skin of Cecil’s tentacles as he lowered Cecil into his lap.

Cecil crooned quietly, the croon dying into a purr as he curled his tentacles around himself.

Carlos lifted Cecil into his arms, cradling him gently and started to walk in to the bedroom. He gently lay Cecil on his pillow, and he curled up on top of it, surprisingly feline in the motion.

Carlos stroked his back gently. Cecil purred, his upper eye opening a crack to look up at him before it slipped back closed.

Carlos smiled and went to get ready for sleep.

When he came back, Cecil hadn’t moved an inch, just breathed softly as he slept.

Carlos lay down carefully so he didn’t bother Cecil, and was asleep before he knew it.

\-----

The next morning when Carlos woke up, he found tentacles curled all around his head, nearly strangling him, and the mass of smaller tentacles sleeping in front of his nose.

“Cecil!” Carlos laughed, looking up at the little creature.

Cecil groaned and whined as his eyes opened. He yawned widely, showing the sharp teeth and fangs that Carlos remembered from the night before.

“Cecil, it’s time to get up,” Carlos said with a smile.

Cecil whined again.

“Can you at least let go of my face?”

Cecil snorted but his long tentacles let go and curled back around himself as he gave Carlos the most pitiful look.

It just made Carlos laugh, and he picked him up to cradle in one arm. “Come on, Cec. I think you can take a bath in the sink,” he said, looking at his tiny boyfriend with a smile.

Cecil made a doubtful noise. Carlos made a noise back at him. “Come on, even baby whatever-you-ares need baths.”

“No,” Cecil said firmly.

“Yes,” Carlos retorted, laughing despite himself.

“No!”

“Yes,” Carlos repeated, then ran his hand through the tentacles on his back as they entered the bathroom. He set Cecil in the bathroom sink, finding that there was actually plenty of room for Cecil to splash around. “Thank God for large sinks,” Carlos muttered as he started to fill it with warm water, and grabbed a bit of body wash to put in it as well.

Cecil was staring at him forlornly from the sink, then brightened when the soap started to form bubbles. He chittered as he hit the bubbles enthusiastically with his tentacles, splashing Carlos and the rest of the bathroom.

Carlos laughed and let him splash, before turning off the faucet and starting the shower. He hesitated before getting in, then pulled down the shower curtain, leaving only the clear liner. He should probably keep an eye on Cecil. Not that he really needed it or anything. Well. He hoped he didn’t. It was Cecil, even if he was small.

He glanced over and found that Cecil was resting in the sink, his three eyes watching Carlos intently.

“Hi Cecil,” Carlos said with a smile, and Cecil lifted himself and grinned widely at Carlos, before flailing happily in the sink again. He chirped and climbed out of the sink, his tentacles slipping a little as he slithered across the counter, to jump down and pull himself in to the shower with Carlos.

Carlos smiled, and kept washing his hair. “You want help washing yourself?” he asked, looking down at Cecil, who blinked and nodded. “Alright. I can do that,” he said, starting to rinse the shampoo from his hair and sat down on the floor of the shower.

Cecil chirped and immediately moved on to Carlos’ lap, reaching up with two of his long tentacles. Carlos laughed, and filled his palm with body wash. Cecil didn’t seem to have hair, so he figured that was a safe bet. He started to rub Cecil’s tentacles with the soap, laughing when Cecil trilled happily and extended all of his tentacles as far as he could out, making himself look much bigger.

It took Carlos a while to actually get Cecil clean with all the tentacles that he had, although Cecil did try to help.

Key word there being try.

Eventually though, both of them were clean, and Carlos climbed out, placing Cecil’s towel from when he was normal on the ground for the tiny creature to step on. Cecil moved on to it, then shook himself instead, spraying water everywhere.

Carlos just laughed as he started to towel himself off. Cecil mimicked his laugh as he started to roll around on the towel, and Carlos shook his head as he started to dry off his hair.

It didn’t take Carlos long to get ready to go to the lab, Cecil scurrying after him the entire time, trying to climb his leg (and succeeding) then his body (and failing), until Carlos lifted him and put him on his head, where he clung on to him.

Carlos had another potential problem when it came to driving with Cecil. He couldn’t exactly buckle Cecil in to a seat. Instead, he put Cecil in his lap and tried to drive as carefully as he could.

“Thank God car accidents aren’t a huge thing here,” he muttered as he started to drive.

He changed his mind part of the way to his lab and went to the butcher shop instead. He still had a tupperware container of beef cubes that he cut up last night, but he figured he would want a bit more variety than just that. The butcher would know which ones were safe to eat raw. Maybe he would even know what was going on.

Cecil climbed up on to his head as he climbed out of the car, tentacles winding around his chin as Carlos walked in to the butcher shop.

“Hello!” the butcher called cheerfully. “Oh! Dr. Carlos, welcome. What can I get for you, and who is that on your head?” he asked with a smile up at Cecil.

Cecil chirruped happily at him.

“Ah. It’s Cecil. I don’t know what happened,” Carlos said with an eyeroll, and the butcher beamed.

“Oh! You’re being considered as adoptive parents. They test you a little. I suspect that next it will be you,” the butcher said, then reached around to scratch the top of Cecil’s head. Cecil trilled happily, nudging his hand when it started to retreat.

Carlos nodded. “Well, that’s good to know. How long does this test last?”

The butcher shrugged. “Normally not longer than a week. If a person is really bad at dealing with kids, then it might last longer until they get the hang of it, but you seem to be getting along with little Cecil just fine. So I’d give it a few days. Now then. What can I do for you?” he asked with a smile.

Carlos smiled. “I’m not entirely sure what he eats, but he likes raw meat.”

Cecil crooned at the words happily.

“I believe that his species is primarily carnivorous as children. They don’t become omnivores until adolescence. The raw meat thing might just be him. I don’t think it is necessary. But anyway,” he said, then started to discuss what meats would work for Cecil. He even offered the tiny creature samples.

Carlos ended up leaving with small amounts of a bunch of different meats wrapped in butcher paper, with promises to store it right away when he got to work.

Cecil was humming happily as Carlos set him in his lap again and drove to the lab. He still had to work, and if this was a test then he couldn’t just skip off of work.

Cecil was surprisingly well behaved as a child, considering how much of a handful he was as an adult. Carlos hoped that wouldn’t change when they were in the lab. It would be much harder to watch him there.

But he went in to the lab with Cecil on his head anyways and was immediately bombarded with questions about him. Cecil seemed to love the attention, since it normally came with people gently stroking his tentacles.

“Alright. I actually have to get to work. And this is only short term, so don’t get used to it,” he said with a grin at the other scientists. Cecil chirped and Carlos pulled him off of his head gently. “There you are,” he said, setting Cecil on the ground. “You know how to stay out of trouble,” he said with a smile at Cecil who trilled agreement and started to scurry off.

Carlos watched him go, turned to his lab bench, grabed his samples, and started his work for the day.

It was a full hour before Cecil got in trouble.

Cecil screeched loudly from a corner of the lab. Carlos sighed, putting his microfuge tubes on ice, and stepping over to where Cecil was shrieking.

Carlos had to laugh when he saw Cecil though. He had somehow managed to get himself stuck in the area between the legs of two lab benches.

Cecil shrieked in anger when he heard Carlos laugh and thrashed his tentacles against the legs, clearly trying to push himself out.

Carlos didn’t even know how Cecil had managed to get himself stuck. He seemed fairly uniformly shaped, with the exception of the thicker tentacles on the top of his body and the long thick ones that were currently trying to pry himself out. Carlos moved one of the benches, letting Cecil free.

Cecil glared at him, then started to run off again.

Carlos smiled as he went back to his bench, smiling at the noises he could still hear from Cecil.

It was another few hours before Cecil came over to him, whining piteously at Carlos. “Hung’y,” he said plaintively, wrapping a tentacle around his ankle.

Carlos nodded. “Alright. I can take a break,” he said, and leaned down to lift Cecil into his arm. Cecil curled up against him, tentacles wrapping around his arm as Carlos went in to the small break room. “Let’s go with… lamb today, alright?”

“Yeah!” Cecil trilled, looking up at Carlos.

Carlos pulled out that package and lifted Cecil gently up to his shoulder. “Up there for a moment,” he said quietly, moving to open the packaged lamb and grabbed a knife to cut off a few chunks. That seemed about right for Cecil for now.

He repackaged it and put it back in the fridge before moving to sit down. Cecil slid down to his lap, and Carlos handed him the meat chunks for him to tear into and devour.

Carlos smiled at the cooing creature, listening to the way he tore at the small chunks of lamb. He curled up in Carlos’ lap when he was done, and Carlos cradled him against his chest. Cecil’s top eye fluttered up at Carlos, the bottom two closed, before it closed as well.

Carlos shook his head, and went to find a pillow.

A few minutes later Cecil was settled on Carlos’ bench, napping quietly.

Carlos ended up trying to finish his procedures early, letting Cecil down off the table to run around a little bit more before they left for the day.

Carlos found Cecil, grabbed the various meats from the fridge, and left. It was still afternoon, so after dropping the meat off, he took Cecil to the park.

After a few minutes of trying to keep track of the tiny creature in the grass, Carlos bought a hopefully non-sentient balloon (they sometimes were sentient and sometimes hungry) and tied it to the tentacle right above Cecil’s eyes. Cecil was overjoyed to have the balloon on him and happily started to run around. The yellow balloon over him helped Carlos follow him around.

He ended up having to answer a whole bunch of questions from various people about Cecil. He got a lot of congratulations on becoming potential parents, and Carlos smiled at that. He was actually a bit surprised that he was fine with the thought. Any child they adopted wouldn’t be any worse than Cecil, that was for sure.

“Cecil! Come here!” he called, and the yellow balloon started to drift quickly back over to him. Carlos smiled when he saw the bounding tentacles through the grass.

Cecil climbed up his leg and crawled up his arm to settle in them with a happy yell.

Carlos stroked along his back and smiled. “There you go, sweet,” he said, and Cecil crooned. “Let’s go home,” he said quietly, and Cecil chirped in agreement.

The rest of the evening was quiet. Cecil played with a few makeshift toys that Carlos made up while Carlos watched TV and watched Cecil play. They ate dinner, and everything seemed… routine. Surprisingly routine.

The next day, they repeated the process and ended up in the lab again. Cecil seemed on good behavior, although Carlos did have to call for him to stop doing a couple things from his bench, and Cecil spent some time on his shoulder watching him work.

He let him climb back down as he kept pipetting things and taking notes on what he did and what happened.

An hour later, he heard a shout from one of the scientists, and he knew it was because of Cecil. The answering shriek from Cecil, and the screams and whimpers he heard, worried him.

He dodged around benches and people before finding Davis holding Cecil up by two of his thick tentacles shouting at him.

It wasn’t hard to see why. Cecil was holding half of a rat in one tentacle and smoke was coming from his eyes as he whimpered, wide-eyed. Carlos could see the terror in his face, despite the species difference.

“Davis! Put him down!” Carlos shouted, diving to catch Cecil when Davis dropped him, and stroking him gently as Cecil quickly ate down the rest of the rat before Carlos could grab it. Carlos rolled his eyes a little before glaring up at Davis and standing back up.

“That damn creature ate my rat!” Davis shouted, glaring at Carlos.

Carlos bared his teeth. “‘That damn creature’ is a child! A sentient child! Besides, what are you doing with the rats out here? These are immunocompromised rats! They’re supposed to be in a sanitized area!” he shouted back. “If you don’t know what you’re doing, then leave!”

Cecil was cowering against Carlos’ chest.

“I needed that rat for - “ Davis started, and Carlos snarled.

“Don’t even give me that! I know your protocol. You have more rats than you statistically need. You know the cause of death for this one, and you know it isn’t due to the disease. Your experiment is fine,” Carlos snapped at him. “That’s no excuse! You know who this is! Why would you grab him like that? You terrified him!”

Davis’ eyes widened. “That thing isn’t human!”

Carlos shuffled Cecil in his arms and slapped him across the face. “Humans aren’t the only sentient beings,” he snarled. “This is Night Vale. You’ve been here for long enough, you should know that humans aren’t the only sentient beings. Besides, this isn’t just any ‘sentient being’, this is my boyfriend.”

Davis backed up a step.

“If you can’t handle this place, then leave,” Carlos snarled, turning away to take care of Cecil. Smoke was still leaking from the corners of his eyes, and Carlos recognized what it was. Tears. “It’s alright sweetheart,” he murmured, lifting Cecil to his chest and holding him close. Immediately, all eight of his large tentacles wrapped around his various body parts, and he stroked him. “Have you learned not to eat things in my lab now?” he asked. Cecil made a thick sounding noise of agreement. The smoke tickled Carlos’ nose with the smell of brimstone. “Don’t do it again, alright?” he said firmly.

“Otay,” Cecil said, and Carlos took him back to his bench.

“Stay here,” Carlos ordered, setting Cecil on the pillow. Cecil curled up on it quietly, not arguing at all. Carlos shook his head and started to work on finishing his procedures for today.

Again, they left early and went to the park again. Cecil got another balloon (this one did seem a bit sentient) and Cecil ran to the playground, occasionally getting dragged off course by the balloon. Carlos followed slower, watching the red balloon bounce and occasionally start to drag off one way or another, despite Cecil’s shrieks and attempts to hold on to something. That was an amusing sight to see.

Cecil climbed up on to the playground, easily avoiding the other children’s feet and keeping the balloon untangled. Carlos watched as the balloon moved around the playground, keeping an eye and ear out for Cecil.

Cecil seemed fine though, and when it was starting to get dark, they started home for dinner.

It was routine already.

\-----

Carlos only had two more days of Cecil as a child. The fifth morning, Carlos woke up with four very human limbs wrapped around him instead of eight tentacles.

Carlos looked up in to a familiar human face, and smiled. “Morning Cecil,” he said, and Cecil stretched, then blinked.

“Oh hey, you passed,” Cecil said with a broad smile down at him. “You’re a very competent father,” he said, his eyes sparkling.

Carlos shrugged his shoulders with a modest grin. “I babysat a lot as a teenager. The only difference between them and you is that you have more limbs, are faster, and a much different diet.”

Cecil laughed and leaned down to kiss his lips gently. “It showed. Except for the rat, you did good.”

“To be fair, he really shouldn’t have had those out where he did,” Carlos commented. “And I figured you would know not to eat random animals in a lab,” he said with a laugh.

Cecil shrugged. “I was hungry.”

“You could have asked,” Carlos said with a laugh. “I brought food for you,” he added, and reached out to hold Cecil’s hand. “I’m glad you’re back though. You’re a handful.”

Cecil smiled. “Of course I am. That’s the point,” he said, and kissed him. “I bet my turn is tonight,” he considered.

Carlos grinned. “I was a handful as a kid. Just to warn you.”

Cecil matched his grin with one of his own. “I will accept that challenge.”

 


	2. Carlos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Carlos' turn!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... it has been about three months since I updated this. This has been written for awhile, but I didn't get around to editing it until a few days ago as a way to procrastinate on studying for my finals. 
> 
> Which now that I think about it, I'm still procrastinating.

Carlos sat in the middle of the living room, swathed in his now-giant labcoat, and Cecil sighed as he looked at the naked toddler.

“It’s your turn, isn’t it sweetheart?” he asked with a grin, lifting Carlos up to his hip, tangled up in his labcoat. Carlos babbled a little, and Cecil ruffled the dark hair, already thick despite his young age.

He found the box of Council-mandated baby supplies in the top of the linen closet, sitting neatly next to the one that Carlos hadn’t found for him. He would have to dispose of that at some point. The box came down easily with his one hand, and he sat down next to it with Carlos still in his other arm.

Cecil pulled out a toy and handed it to Carlos as he started to shuffle through the box. “Okay, sweetie,” he murmured, grinning when he pulled out clothes and a diaper for his dear Carlos, who was mumbling over his toy, then looked up at Cecil.

“Cece! ” he said happily, and Cecil’s smile gentled.

“Still my Carlos,” he said quietly, then set him down. “Okay, you big boy, let’s get you dressed,” he said, then looked at the clothes. “Now how do I work these things… Oh fuck!” he exclaimed as the diaper stuck to his hand. He didn’t know the rituals to keep these diapers from sticking to everything!

Carlos giggled. “Fuck!” he repeated, and Cecil stared down at him.

“Carlos, no, that is not a good word,” Cecil said desperately and Carlos giggled before starting to run away from Cecil.

“Oh fuck,” Cecil repeated, burying his head in his hands. “Carlos! Come back here!” he called, standing up and trying to catch the child.

It took him five minutes to actually catch Carlos. This apartment was tiny, how could Carlos evade him so efficiently? He kept ducking through Cecil’s legs, and Cecil had no idea how the toddler was dexterous enough to do that.

“Okay, you tiny demon, let’s get your clothes on,” he said, plopping Carlos down on his back. Carlos wailed and thrashed his hands and kicked his feet, and Cecil let him go hurriedly. “I don’t want to hurt you!” he cried out, and Carlos immediately stopped crying.

And promptly ran off again.

“Fuck.”

After another ten minutes of trying to catch Carlos, he finally gave up and sat down by the diaper and clothes. “I give up. You are much too fast for me,” he said, and Carlos toddled up and sat down with the biggest shit-eating grin that Cecil had ever seen.

Cecil stared and Carlos flopped on to his back, giggling with his legs in the air.

“You are the biggest shit I have ever had the pleasure of meeting,” Cecil muttered, starting to put the diaper on Carlos, then standing him up and putting on the onesie and pants.

“Shit!” Carlos giggled as the second leg of his pants was put on.

“No! Carlos, that’s a bad word too!” Cecil exclaimed, his eyes wide with disbelief. He knew that Carlos was just mimicking him, although he was also fairly certain that he knew without a doubt that those were bad words. He really needed to watch his language apparently.

Carlos giggled again. “Me hungry,” he said, his eyes bright.

Cecil nodded, and stood up. Carlos held his hands out to be picked up. “Up!” he demanded, and Cecil obeyed, tucking him up against his hip and returning to the box. There was food in there…

He picked the box up in his other hand, and started toward the kitchen. He swung the box up onto the counter, still holding Carlos in his other arm, and started to dig through it for the food. There was the thing of diapers and wipes and holy crap how much did they expect Carlos to shit in the next few days? But he found some of the baby food in there and looked at it. “Well that looks really disgusting,” he commented, looking at the baby food and tossing it back in the box. He considered Carlos and his seeming mouthful of teeth.

“I think you can eat actual food. What do you want to eat?” he asked, looking down at Carlos.

Carlos just looked at him, blinking. Right, he was a toddler now. A tiny human child, currently under his care and keeping.

“Carlos, I can’t cook. You do all the cooking,” Cecil said helplessly, then sighed and went to look in the cabinets and refrigerator for something he could make. ~~]~~ Unfortunately, the easy stuff had already been made. “Um. We’re going to try the nasty goop,” he said helplessly, stepping back over to the box.

“That’s icky,” Carlos complained, making a face at the baby food as Cecil pulled out a few of the jars. From the variety, it was obvious that the Council didn’t know how old a person would revert to.

“Yes, well I can’t cook that well, you silly human,” Cecil grumbled, popping the lid on the least offensive looking one. “Chicken strips. No, tiny chicken hot dogs, thank you,” he said, then reached in and pulled one out. “What were they thinking with these,” he asked, holding it out to Carlos.

Carlos bestowed the most offended look that a toddler of his age could manage upon the chicken stick, but obediently took a bite.

Cecil grinned. “I have this parenting - oh gods,” he said when the piece of chicken thing bounced off his cheek. “Carlos. No spitting food at me.”

“Icky,” Carlos said innocently, with the most angelic smile he could manage at Cecil.

Cecil huffed, and went to find something for them both to eat. "Demon child," he muttered, and Carlos giggled again.

“Shit!”

“No Carlos, don’t say that. That’s a bad word,” Cecil said, his eyes wide as he flailed his other hand to try to get Carlos to stop.

Carlos laughed and kicked his feet. “Shit fuck shit fuck!” he said instead.

Cecil groaned. What had he gotten himself in to? “No, Carlos, those are bad words, don’t say them,” he tried again desperately.

The tiny human determined to misbehave smiled widely at him. “Okay!”

Cecil sighed and hunted down a few things. Chicken breast, spices, and a steam-bag of broccoli that he thought Carlos was originally going to use with something else, but Cecil didn’t care. He could bake some chicken, right?

He looked down at Carlos, then at the chicken, which was starting to writhe in the bag. “I am going to regret this, but I’m going to have to put you down,” he said, looking at the kid.

Carlos giggled, and Cecil sighed. “Stay in the kitchen,” he ordered, and set Carlos down.

Of course, the first thing the toddler did was immediately leave the kitchen at a dead run.

“Carlos!” Cecil shouted. “Get back here!”

He followed Carlos into the living room. “You are impossible, I swear,” he muttered when he lashed out with a tentacle he manifested to grab the small child as he ran through his legs. At this point, he didn’t even care about ripping his shirt. He could fix it later. “You know, I didn’t want to do this. I wanted to do this as a human,” he grumbled as he manifested another tentacle to hold Carlos better. “But you are making that impossible,” he said with a sigh, holding Carlos up with his tentacles and started to deal with the chicken before it wiggled off the counter. A lance of pain through his tentacle made him yelp and he nearly dropped Carlos.

He looked behind him to find Carlos gnawing on his tentacle. “Carlos! That hurts!” he cried, and Carlos stopped, looking over at him, before kissing where he had bitten.

“Sowwy Cece,” he said, and Cecil stared at him. Carlos seemed sincere, his face spoke of tiny toddler sincerity, so Cecil decided to believe him.

“Don’t do it again and please behave,” he pleaded, sighing as he set Carlos down to examine his tentacle. It seemed fine, just with some teeth marks denting the scales. “Come with me,” he ordered, starting toward the bedroom.

Carlos obeyed this time, and Cecil changed into one of his t-shirts that already had holes for his tentacles. He was giving up on doing this the normal human way. The rest of his tentacles manifested, neatly slipping through the holes and stretching outwards.

Carlos was staring at him, sucking his thumb. Cecil smiled, and scooped him up in to his arms.

“You’re a little demon child,” he said fondly, kissing Carlos’ forehead gently. “When you said you were a handful, I didn’t think you meant like this. Stars, Carlos, I thought I was a handful,” he said, then reached all of his tentacles around to cradle Carlos in them.

Carlos giggled then shrieking in joy when Cecil tossed him lightly into the tentacles, catching him gently. Cecil smiled, swinging him back and forth, holding him with all the care he could.

“That’s my Carlos. Are you going to keep being a naughty little creature?” he asked with a laugh, and Carlos shrieked happily when Cecil gently bounced him in the tentacles. Cecil laughed, starting back toward the kitchen. Putting Carlos down gently, the toddler followed him back into the kitchen holding one Cecil’s tentacles. Cecil recovered his tentacle, then gave Carlos a couple of the toys from the box. They seemed a little young for Carlos, but they were what they had on hand.

Cecil looked around, vaguely remembering that Carlos had ended up needing to make up some toys for him to play with. He looked back down at Carlos. “I am so glad that when we actually have kids, I’ll be able to have you there to help,” he said gloomily, sitting down in front of Carlos. “I’m a horrible parent on my own,” he said with a sigh, and Carlos flipped through a ring of plastic keys that Cecil was fairly certain was for an infant, but was smiling despite it.

Cecil had to grin. Maybe he wasn’t completely horrible.

He pulled a stuffed animal out of the box and smiled quietly.

“...Huh. Neat,” he said, turning the stuffed animal over in his hands. It looked like him. Well, how he looked as a baby. Long black tentacles with some shorter ones surrounding them, three stitched violet eyes and even a stitched mouth with his sharp teeth.

“Cece!” Carlos cried, dropping the ring of keys when he saw the stuffed animal.

Cecil sat back down and handed the stuffed animal to Carlos. “There,” he said quietly, and Carlos laughed, burying his face in to the stuffed creature. The body of the damn thing was as big as Carlos’ torso and the tentacles would easily hit the floor when Carlos stood up.

Cecil smiled went to check on the food. The chicken was well on the way to cooked and he put the broccoli in the microwave. Now he just hoped that the microwave wouldn't change it to orange goo like it had a few times in the past. He chanted a few words, repeating them a few times before nodding. It wasn’t a for sure thing, but it was the most likely thing to help.

He watched Carlos play for a bit, then finished getting everything ready for dinner.

“Cece!” Carlos called from the floor next to him. “I hungry!”

“I’ve got some food for you,” he said with a smile, starting out to the living room. The table was covered with Carlos’ science things, so it wasn’t really possible to eat there. Besides, this way they could watch something as they ate. He had two forks on the plate: one larger and one smaller.

Carlos followed him, still holding the stuffed creature, and pulled himself up on to the couch next to Cecil. “Okay,” he said with a smile down at the small child.

Carlos was being remarkably well behaved as they ate, considering the torment that he had put Cecil through earlier. Cecil looked at him suspiciously. “You’re a clever little thing, aren’t you?” he asked, reaching out a tentacle to stroke Carlos’ hair gently.

Carlos just looked up at him and smiled that innocent little smile that Cecil knew wasn’t innocent at all.

“You are going to be a pain in my tentacles this entire time, aren’t you?” he asked. Carlos just giggled and picked some chicken up off the plate, eating it with his hands. “That is a yes. I’m sure I can handle it,” he said with confidence he wasn’t sure he felt, then leaned over to kiss Carlos’ head gently. Carlos picked up some broccoli and ate it with another bright smile.

Cecil shook his head and took a bite of the chicken, before tearing a piece of bread off and offering it to Carlos. “Here you go,” he murmured as he held it out.

“Thank you!” Carlos said cheerfully and ate the piece of bread. Cecil had to smile at the look on his face.

They ate a bit more before Carlos drank some milk and slid off the couch to sit on the floor and play with his stuffed creature. Cecil smiled and watched him as he finished off the food on the plate.

Carlos played with Cecil watching over him for an hour before he started to yawn and rub his eyes.

“Tired?” Cecil asked, and Carlos nodded.

“Tired,” he repeated, and leaned against Cecil’s leg.

Cecil walked him through the process of getting ready to go to sleep, using the bathroom and changing for bed. Carlos was clearly too tired to get into too much trouble, although he did splash Cecil once with water in the bathroom.

“You’re such a smart little thing,” he murmured, rocking Carlos gently, then lay him on the bed.

Carlos yawned, and turned over on the bed, hugging his stuffed creature.

Cecil smiled. “Good night Carlos,” he said with a smile.

“Goo’ night Cece,” Carlos said sleepily, practically asleep already.

Cecil smiled, and left to clean and straighten up while Carlos was asleep. He doubted he would wake Carlos at this time, as he did seem very tired, luckily.

That done, he turned off the lights and found a book to read in bed instead of staying in the living room. He wanted to keep an eye on the little troublemaker right now.

He pulled his tentacles back in with a slight wince. It was always easier to manifest them than to unmanifest them. He sighed as he put on pajamas and curled up in bed.

Cecil read peacefully for another hour before turning to the sleeping Carlos and laying down. “Sorry there isn’t another bed here, sweetie,” he murmured with a smile. before turning off the lights, and going to sleep.

\-----

The next morning, Cecil realized just how smart Carlos was when he was startled awake by a tiny hand prodding his face.

“Cece. Wake up time,” a solemn voice said, and Cecil opened his eyes to see the dark, chubby face above him.

Cecil yawned widely, and grunted, then flailed for the alarm on the other side of the bed, since it was currently softly playing music that was loud enough to wake up Carlos on a normal day - and when he was a kid apparently - but not enough for Cecil.

Carlos giggled at his flailing, and moved away, clutching his stuffed animal, and Cecil grunted as he sat up and smacked the alarm off.

“Ugh,” he groaned, looking at Carlos. “I’m going to go shower,” he said to the child, yawning again as he picked up Carlos and helped him off the bed, and got a bit of a dirty look for it.

He shrugged, unable to hold back a grin. Carlos was smart enough, even at this age of a child to know his limits. “Stay with me in the bathroom,” he ordered, yawning and stretching as he walked into the bathroom.

Cecil started the shower, still yawning and remembering that he was definitely not a morning person. He needed to wake up.

Carlos somehow managed to strip out of his clothes and climb into the shower with him after doing his business. To be fair, Cecil remembered actually being able to crawl in the shower himself, and Cecil had been much smaller than Carlos was.

He yawned, and leaned down to nudge Carlos under the water. Carlos giggled as the water cascaded on his head, and Cecil smiled, starting to wash his own hair. “Don’t know why you didn’t want to take a bath,” he said with a grin, and Carlos laughed.

He finished getting both of them cleaned up and emerged feeling much more awake, although he could still use coffee. The caffeine didn’t really do anything, but the bitter taste did wake him up. He wandered out, towel wrapped around his waist, with Carlos following dragging his stuffed animal behind him by a tentacle, which just made Cecil wince a little.

He grabbed the box, and pulled out a pile of clothes and another diaper, since they obviously hadn’t anticipated Carlos being quite this intelligent. He flipped through them, and made a face when he saw the white labcoat, sized to fit Carlos.

“Of course they added this in here,” he said with a laugh, then held it out to show Carlos.

Carlos laughed, dropping his stuffed animal to clap.

Cecil jerked his head towards the bedroom, still smiling. “Come on,” he said as he walked through the apartment. He glanced back when he heard Carlos moving, and saw him with the stuffed animal in his arms.

He got them both dressed, being sure to put on a shirt with tentacle holes. Carlos was enough of a challenge that he guessed he would need them. He tossed a jacket on over the shirt to hide the tentacle-holes. It was only a few more minutes before he had shoes on both of them. “Ready to go to the station for the day?” he asked with a smile.

Carlos grinned. “Yeah!” he said happily, and Cecil scooped him up in to his arms as he went to grab some leftovers for lunch at the station. He shoved that and a few more toys in to a Ralph's bag, then nodded. Ready to go.

“Okay then, let’s head out,” he said with a grin as they went down the stairs.

He paused by his car. “That… doesn’t look safe,” he murmured, biting his lip. Carlos had been okay with driving with him in his lap, but he wasn’t as comfortable with it. The station wasn’t that far away anyway. A fifteen minute walk if Carlos could keep up. There wasn’t really anything on the way, so they would probably have to come back without going anywhere else. But they could manage. “We’re walking this,” he said with a grin at Carlos, who laughed and nodded when Cecil put him down.

“We walk!” Carlos said happily as he started to walk down the street.

“Hey! Come here and hold my hand,” Cecil called, and Carlos took his hand, surprisingly obeying him.

But just for a moment, of course. The next moment, he was bolting towards something interesting on the sidewalk.

"Carlos!" Cecil called with a sigh, and the toddler stopped, then came back to Cecil. "Stay with me, sweetie," he said softly, smiling down at him.

Carlos nodded. "’kay," he said, sliding his small hand in to Cecil's.

Remarkably, the rest of that walk went smoothly, and it wasn't long before they were ensconced in Cecil's recording booth.

The day went smoothly, with Carlos playing in the corner as Cecil researched and pre-recorded and figured out the weather and they ate lunch.

It wasn’t until noon when he started broadcasting that Carlos started to misbehave.

At first it was just that he started to pull on cables and such.

At first Cecil could stop him with a wave of his arm. It didn’t take long for Carlos to start ignoring him.

Eventually he stood up, pulling the microphone with him as he reached out to grab him. “Sorry listeners, Carlos and I are being considered as adoptive parents, and you all know what that means! I had my turn as a child, and now it’s Carlos’ turn! And boy is he a troublemaker. Let me just say, it is an excellent thing that he was so good at parenting, because otherwise I doubt we would ever be actual parents. Wait - Carlos - Crap.”

He watched as Carlos scurried back across the recording booth.

“At least I know that I’ll be able to handle any child after this. I don’t think any kid will be more of a handful than my dear, sweet Carlos - No, sweetie, don’t push that! Oh crap,” he said as Carlos pushed a button and killed the broadcast.

Cecil flailed and quickly restarted the broadcast. “Sorry about that listeners! Carlos is a little troublemaker and managed to hit the button to stop broadcasting, the silly child. Now then, back to the news…”

Carlos started to play with his stuffed animal, giggling on the floor as he looked over at Cecil.

Cecil thought he could see a devious look in Carlos’ eyes. He also thought he was imagining it. Carlos was too young for that.

But he continued and the next time he looked over at Carlos, he had curled up on the ground, his head pillowed on his stuffed animal, his arms wrapping around two tentacles, hugging them against himself. Cecil had to chuckle. “One moment listeners, Carlos is taking a nap. How sweet!” Cecil said, shrugging out of his coat and standing up to drape it over Carlos gently. Carlos shifted under it, but didn’t wake up.

“Oh thank God,” he muttered into the microphone. “I love my dear Carlos, but he is probably one of the biggest troublemakers when he is a child that I have ever seen,” he said with a laugh. “Anyway. There’s a new flower growing around town now, and I would suggest keeping pets and children away from them, as they are carnivorous!”

Carlos slept for the next hour and a half before waking again. He yawned and stretched. “Cece?” he asked, and Cecil immediately turned to him.

“Oh look, Carlos is awake,” he said into the microphone. “One moment. Hey Carlos. Have a good nap?” he asked with a smile, looking over at him.

Carlos nodded. “Yeah,” he said, then stood up, dumping Cecil’s coat on the ground as he stepped over to Cecil with his stuffed animal, and lifted his arms up to be lifted.

Cecil obliged with a smile, kissing his forehead as he settled Carlos on his lap. “Want to say hello to the listeners, Carlos?” he asked with a smile.

“Hewwo!” Carlos called cheerfully into the microphone, and Cecil laughed quietly.

“He’s a chipper little thing,” he said, hugging the child with a laugh. Carlos giggled, lifting the stuffed animal, curling up a little in Cecil’s lap. “Now Carlos, are you going to turn off the broadcast again?” he asked, smiling at Carlos.

“I dunno,” Carlos said with a grin up at Cecil.

“Of course you don’t. Please try not to, the poor listeners get very confused when you do that,” he said, and tickled Carlos’ sides and he shrieked with giggles, flailing the stuffed animal. Cecil chuckled quietly, hugging him tightly for a moment before continuing his broadcast as before with the occasional giggle break from Carlos.

Carlos wriggled his way off Cecil’s lap and Cecil let him, speaking into the microphone as he turned to watch Carlos.

Needless to say the rest of the broadcast was punctuated with “Carlos, stay away from that!” or similar phrases as Carlos continued to try to press buttons and occasionally do so. Luckily, the worst thing he did was start playing a screeching sound that was a recorded broadcast from the night before.

But the rest of the night after that was fairly easy. Cecil walked with Carlos home, often picking him up and carrying him for a distance before Carlos decided to be done with that particular method of moving, and he did end up carrying the stuffed animal for pretty much the entire way. He didn’t mind.

When they got back home, Cecil settled Carlos in the living room with a bunch of toys as he tried to figure out what to have for dinner tonight. In this, he had been much easier than Carlos. All he needed was a bit of raw meat and he had been set and happy.

Carlos needed balance between so many different things with his food.

In the end he had pulled out some of the meat still in the fridge from when he had been reverted, some rice pasta and butter, and a can of peas. It wouldn’t be super tasty, but it was balanced and it would work for a meal for Carlos and himself. He considered everything, then started to cook things, glancing out at Carlos every few minutes when he got the chance.

Of course, he looked out eventually and Carlos had disappeared.

“Carlos?” he called with a sigh, prodding the meat where it was resting before walking out to try to find him.

A crashing sound brought him to the bedroom. Of course. “Carlos!” he called, and stepped in to the bedroom.

“Cece!” Carlos called, latching on to Cecil’s leg. Cecil glanced past him, and saw that the piles of stuff on the dresser had been pulled off and was scattered on the floor. He glanced at the mirror with a flutter of fear, his mother’s words haunting her as they always had, but it was still covered so turned to Carlos instead. He seemed okay, so Cecil smiled and kissed his forehead, picking him up and walked out of the bedroom.

Carlos cried a little when Cecil set him down in the living room, looking up at him, and promptly following when Cecil went back into the kitchen. Cecil didn’t mind, letting him follow as he strained the pasta and tossed everything together.

They ate in front of the TV, watching some child’s program about a clock in space, and while Cecil cleaned up, Carlos played in the living room. They played together, and Cecil had to scold him occasionally for language and regretted how he had sworn in front of Carlos the night before. He just prayed that he didn’t repeat anything on the radio the next day.

All in all it was a peaceful evening.

Carlos yawned a bit later, and Cecil smiled gently at him. “Tired sweetie?” he asked, and Carlos nodded.

“Yeah. Sleepy,” he said, and Cecil scooped him and his stuffed animal up.

“Alright, let’s get you ready for bed,” he said, nuzzling his hair gently. He got Carlos all changed and settled in to the bed before starting to pick everything up from the dresser, hesitating as he looked at the covered mirror. He should move that. He didn’t want Carlos to knock it over or uncover it on accident.

He’d do that tomorrow.

For now, he went to finish cleaning up everything. It was quiet here, despite the TV still playing in the background. He started to hum, desperate to fill the silence with something other than tinny music and squeaky voices.

He would be grateful when Carlos returned to normal. After living with him for this long, it was too quiet.

It was a relief when he finally went to sleep and shut out the quiet with the small breaths of the child sleeping next to him.

\-----

Carlos woke him up in the morning again, pushing his face and giggling his name until he woke up and turned off the alarm with a yawn.

Once again, he stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom with Carlos following him, dragging his stuffed animal behind him.

“Thank fuck for you being there when we actually have kids. I’m useless in the mornings,” he grumbled without thinking, then looked down at Carlos. “No repeating that,” he said with a yawn.

Carlos laughed cheerfully. “Fuck!” he said loudly, and Cecil sighed. Of course. Of course he would repeat the words he shouldn’t.

“Okay, you’re going to be done with that now,” he said, looking down at Carlos again.

Carlos giggled. “Fuck mornings!” he said, and Cecil sighed, but nodded.

“Yes Carlos, fuck mornings,” he said with another yawn. “Now hush, and no more saying that.”

“Okay Cece,” he said with a grin, and Cecil knew that his battle with the accursed words was not done. He just sighed and started to shower instead, letting Carlos climb in again.

“Why do you not want a bath?” he questioned, looking down at Carlos.

“Shower more fun!” Carlos giggled, and Cecil sighed.

“That is a lie, and you know it,” he said, looking down at Carlos.

Carlos just giggled, and flung water drops from his hands as the shower cascaded on Cecil’s back.

\-----

They walked to the radio station again, and Carlos started to make trouble almost immediately. He pushed buttons on the various boards and computers he could reach and pulled on cables.

Cecil scolded Carlos often, and by the time he started broadcasting, Carlos had started trying to leave the broadcasting booth.

Worse, he was starting to succeed.

Cecil kept having to call him back, and eventually had to drag a table across the door during a break.

“Carlos, you have to stay in here. It’s not safe out there,” he said firmly to the child, then sighed, needing to sit back down in his chair to continue the broadcast.

After another few attempts to push a button, he swatted Carlos on the butt, startling him into behaving until he curled up for a nap.

He sighed as he sat back down from draping a small throw over Carlos, running his hand through his hair. “Thank the gods for my dear Carlos,” he muttered into the microphone. “When I actually have children, it will be with Carlos there to help me, and not being the little child that I have to wrangle. Because children. They are a handful. At least he goes to sleep well.”

He continued the broadcast, grateful for the uninterrupted time to broadcast about things around town.

When Carlos woke up, he once again climbed in to Cecil’s lab, giggling up at him.

“Hey Carlos, how was your nap?” he asked with a smile, and Carlos giggled again.

“Good!” he said with another giggle.

“That’s good. Now remember, we’re on the radio,” he said, ruffling Carlos’ hair.

“Fu-” Carlos began before Cecil swiftly covered his mouth with his hand.

“Listeners, whatever you do, no matter what happens, never swear in front of a child. Because no matter what else you say, that is the word they will pick up,” he said smoothly, not letting go of Carlos’ mouth quite yet. “Now Carlos, you know you’re not supposed to say that, naughty boy,” he said, ruffling his hair gently.

Carlos laughed behind the hand, and Cecil dared to remove it. “Cece! Come play!” he said eagerly, and Cecil glanced at the microphone, then shrugged. “Well listeners, I guess we’re going to play a bit. So with that, I leave you to the weather,” he said, hitting the buttons to start the weather broadcast before starting down to the floor with Carlos.

He didn’t realize when the weather ended, and quickly reached up to grab the microphone when he realized it was just dead air now. “Sorry about that listeners. Children. They’re so wonderfully distracting,” he said, starting to rattle off whatever thoughts he had as he continued playing simply with the two year old. He barely even paid any attention to what he was saying, so long as he was prattling on about something.

Having been a radio host for this long was a godsend, because he could get away with that for a bit of time. The child seemed to enjoy it, and before Cecil knew, it was time to close out the show.

“And with that, good night, Night Vale, good night,” he said before reaching up to press the button to switch it from his broadcast to the next one, a few hours of the sound of rain falling. It was all very calming except for the screams in the background.

“Okay sweetie, we’re going home now,” he said, starting to pack up the toys. When would this would all be over?

They walked home, and Cecil reheated the leftovers from the previous days, not really feeling like actually cooking tonight. Carlos was wearing him out.

The rest of the night and the next morning was similar to the previous ones. It was slowly getting easier as he learned how Carlos acted, and the warning signs that he was going to get into trouble.

Cecil decided to take him to the park that was a bit of a walk from their apartment and the radio station, but he thought it would be worth it. It was Saturday, and he had time before he needed to start the broadcast.

Carlos brightened when he saw the park, struggled in Cecil’s arms until Cecil set him down, and then was off to the playground like a shot. Cecil followed at a more sedate pace. He could still trace Carlos’ path, watching him as he practically flew over the nearly empty playground. Only a couple other children were running around, and Cecil was a bit surprised to see Carlos actively avoid the other two, backing up a couple of steps to run another direction on the structure, or climbing down to move away from them.

He was such a hell-raiser, but he was shy? Cecil smiled, but was a little surprised despite himself. He hadn’t been expecting that. It made sense. Carlos wasn’t exactly the best around other people. He wasn’t bad with people, just not that comfortable. He had even confessed that that was why it had taken him so long to act on the obviously mutual feelings between them.

Cecil watched him play, checking his phone for the time every so often, and thinking as he looked up at the sky (a beautiful shade of mauve this morning).

Cecil wasn’t a good single parent. That much was currently obvious. He couldn’t cook well enough for a child, and he wasn’t that good at keeping this particular child out of trouble.

He sighed as he glanced at his phone again. Time to head to the station. “Carlos! Time to go!” he called, and Carlos, wonder of wonders, actually came over.

“Okay,” was all he said, reaching up to take Cecil’s hand.

“Didn’t like the park?” Cecil asked with a smile, and Carlos shook his head.

“I do. Wanna go now,” he said, looking up at Cecil. Cecil nodded, and started to walk towards the station.

“We can do that,” he said with a smile down at Carlos. “Hey, want to come back tomorrow?” he asked, looking down at Carlos.

Carlos brightened and nodded. “Yeah!”

Cecil laughed quietly. “Alright. We can come back tomorrow,” he said, then held out Carlos’ stuffed animal. “Want this back?” he asked, and Carlos shook his head.

“You carry,” he said, and Cecil just nodded, tucking the fuzzy tentacled creature back under his arm.

They made it to the station fairly quickly, and Cecil got Carlos settled in before he had to start broadcasting.

Carlos played behind him while Cecil spoke into the microphone, shuffling notes the interns had left this morning on various news stories around Night Vale.

He was on the third one when he heard the faint sound of growling.

“Huh, I think Station Management is starting to become a little antsy,” he commented in to the microphone, and shrugged. It happened.

But then the growls got louder, almost like a door had… opened…

Cecil whirled around at the same time the growls rose into roars.

“Carlos?” he asked even as he looked for Carlos. But there was no small human child sitting on the ground.

“Carlos!” he shouted, looking for the child, then tore off his headphone and ran, heedless of the way his chair crashed against the wall, or the way he was leaving the listeners to dead air, because he knew with the certainty he knew all things.

Carlos had gone in to Station Management’s office.

He skidded around the corner, and saw Carlos, his tiny body prone on the ground surrounded by darkness that leered at the child. He roared back at the writhing darkness, letting himself manifest fully as he ran through the doors.

He had to, he couldn’t even hope to get them both out of there alive if he didn’t manifest fully. And Carlos wouldn’t be afraid of him. His adult form was quite different than his juvenile form, but it was similar enough, right? It had to be, because it was what had to be done.

So it was with masses of dark tentacles and countless eyes and mouths that he confronted Station Management.

He roared back at the darkness as he lashed out with his eight heavy tentacles, driving back the tendril of darkness snaking out to steal Carlos, then lashing out at the darkness encroaching on his Carlos. When he was close enough, he picked Carlos up in his smaller tentacles, cradling him gently against himself.

He was so small and so still in that cocoon. Cecil screamed at Management as he retreated out the door, sliding backwards on his tentacles.

Please don’t be - don’t let him be -

He abandoned the manifested form the moment the door closed behind him, and dropped roughly back into his human form with a gasp. He was shaking. He was shaking and Carlos was cradled in his arms, his tiny body so limp and still and he couldn’t even tell if he was breathing.

He ran back into the booth, laying the so very still Carlos on the ground.

“Oh gods, stars, shit, Carlos, no, please,” he chanted, his voice trembling as his hands hovered over the tiny body, unsure and tremulous. He prayed to any deity that would listen that Carlos was okay. That he wasn’t - he wasn’t -

Pulse.

Yes.

Check that.

“Gods, Carlos, please,” he said as he checked for a pulse at Carlos’ tiny, chubby throat, fingers gentle and quivering, and he couldn’t find one.

“Please,” he said, moving to the brachial pulse point.

His hands were shaking and he couldn’t find it there either.

“No, no, no, no,” he moaned, moving away from Carlos and burying his face in his hands. He was probably just horrible again and simply couldn’t find his pulse, but he - he couldn’t. If he was - if he was - he couldn’t even think it. He wouldn’t be able to handle it.

There was a tiny noise from the direction of Carlos, and he lifted his head immediately, hoping with all his heart and soul...

Carlos’ eyes were fluttering open. “Cece?” he asked, a little bit panicked as he looked around, and he calmed when his dark eyes landed on Cecil.

Cecil lunged for him, folding him close in his arms. “Carlos,” he breathed into the perfect hair on the perfect little head, and he manifested all of his tentacles to hold him close.

“Cece, I’m scared,” Carlos said, not protesting the tight grip.

“I’ve got you, sweetie. You’re safe,” Cecil said, breathing in the scent of his sweet Carlos.

Carlos let out a tiny little whimper, and snuggled up against Cecil, and Cecil let him, tentacles and hands stroking him gently.

He looked up, then winced. Dead air. It had been dead air for… he didn’t even know how long. “I’ve got you, my sweet Carlos,” he soothed as he stood up, using his tentacles to help him stand. He straightened the chair, then sat down, still clinging to his tiny Carlos. He queued up a sponsored message and played it, giving them a little bit more time of this soothing cuddling. A little more time for him to enjoy this tiny warmth, the fluttering heartbeat he knew was there.

But of course it ended eventually, and Cecil was faced with a microphone and no drive to speak in to it.

“Sorry about that listeners. My Carlos here got in a spat of trouble with Station Management. Nothing to worry about. He’s fine, just a bit scared. When I realized what he had gotten himself in to this time… I was terrified. Not for myself but for Carlos, who had put his trust in me from the first moment he lifted his adorable tiny hands to me and called me ‘Cece’. If he had - if - “ he took a deep, shuddering breath, closing his eyes and tightening his grip on Carlos ever so slightly before continuing, “I don’t know what I would have done. I would have lost my dear, sweet Carlos. I shudder to think about the consequences that could have occurred if I had looked but a second later, been a second slower getting to Management’s office…”

He closed his eyes, not wanting to think about that just yet.

“Because of this, it would surprise me if we got approved for adopting,” he said softly, a little sad as he stroked Carlos’ hair gently. “I’m not that great of a parent it seems. I bet that will upset Carlos though. From what I can recall, he did amazing with me. He didn’t even realize it was coming, just got home one day and I was a little tentacle-creature. But he accepted it and it turned out well. He would be a wonderful parent,” he said with a sigh, turning his head to kiss Carlos’ soft hair. “Sorry sweetie, I think I messed everything up,” he murmured, and Carlos curled up against him.

“But enough of that. Let’s go to traffic,” he said, desperate to get away from the depressing thoughts of Carlos’ adult face falling when the rejection letter came through.

But for now this tiny Carlos clung to him and he clung back, desperate to feel his warmth after being so afraid of its loss. He didn’t set him down, even when Carlos fell asleep. He just held him in his arms and spoke into the microphone.

When he hit the button for the weather, his phone rang shortly after, and his tentacles hesitated before reaching for the phone. He pulled it out, easily answering the call and holding the phone by his ear with a tentacle. “Hello?” he asked quietly.

“Cecil, are you two okay?” the voice, a gentle older woman’s voice, asked. Cecil smiled. Of course Josie would call.

“We’re fine,” he said softly, looking down at Carlos. “Carlos is asleep right now. I think he’s okay, just scared out of his wits still.”

Josie made a noise of agreement. “That sounds right. You manifested, didn’t you?” she asked, her voice firm.

Cecil blinked. How had she known that? “Well, yes. I had to. Management would have eaten us both if I hadn’t. How did you know?” he asked curiously.

“You left your microphone on. Everyone heard, but I’m guessing only a few would recognize your voice in that form. The rest would just think it was Management,” Josie informed him.

“Oh. What did go through the radio then?” he asked curiously, glancing at the computer. Still another couple of minutes to go.

“Not much. You shouted for Carlos, the sound of crashing as you ran off, Station Management shrieking, then you roaring back at them. A bit more of that nonsense, then you checking Carlos over and praying he was okay,” Josie said, and Cecil could hear the shrug in her voice. “Then him waking up. You put it to a sponsor message after that. It was sweet, Cecil, it really was. You aren’t a bad parent, don’t worry,” she reassured him.

Cecil snorted. “I’m horrible, I really am,” he said with a sigh.

“No you aren’t. Do you want me to have Erika bring over a pizza from Big Rico’s for you two tonight?” Josie asked.

“Well, if angels existed, that would be great,” he said with a weary smile. Take out food wasn’t allowed under the rules. But Carlos had nearly died. They weren’t going to be approved anyway.

Josie huffed, and Cecil laughed. “Well then, you sassy child, I will have Erika drop off a pizza. Do you want cheese?” she asked.

“Yeah. Cheese will work,” he said with a smile, then stroked Carlos’ head gently. “Thanks Josie,” he said quietly.

“My pleasure, Cecil,” Josie said with a smile.

Cecil smiled as he hung up, just in time to start broadcasting again.

Carlos woke up during the second round of the news, and refused to move away from Cecil. Cecil still didn’t mind. He wanted to know he was safe.

The rest of the broadcast went smoothly, and they went home right after it. Carlos didn’t want to be let go the entire time, riding in Cecil’s arms and tentacles the entire way home.

Shortly after they got home, Cecil heard a knock on the door, and opened the door to the tall figure of one of the Erikas. Carlos was clinging to his pant leg as Cecil took the pizza from Erika.

“Thank you Erika, and tell Josie thank you as well,” Cecil said with a smile at Erika. The angel nodded gracefully and disappeared in a flurry of ethereal feathers.

Cecil and Carlos sat on the couch, the television murmuring quietly in the background as Cecil fed him pizza.

Carlos didn’t even let him go as Cecil put the pizza away, instead sitting quietly in Cecil’s tentacles.

Cecil worried as Carlos’ eyes darted around at the slightest noise, distracted from the television. He sat curled on his lap, his hands straying to Cecil’s tentacles every few minutes. He seemed so afraid, Cecil just wished he could have kept him safe in the studio.

Carlos started yawning a couple hours later. They got ready for bed quietly, Carlos still refusing to be more than a foot away from Cecil the entire time.

They curled up together, Carlos clinging to Cecil’s shirt even as Cecil clung to the child. And they fell asleep like that.

\-----

The next morning it was strong arms wrapped around Cecil, and very familiar and very _adult_ eyes looking in to Cecil’s when he woke up.

And all Cecil could do was start crying silently.

“Oh sweetheart,” Carlos said gently, pulling Cecil close to his chest. "I'm right here, don't worry," he murmured, kissing the top of Cecil's head gently.

"I'm sorry!" Cecil sobbed softly, burying his face in Carlos' chest.

"What for? Everything is fine. We're both here, we're both safe," Carlos said softly, smiling down at the crying Cecil.

"You wanted to adopt kids so badly, and I completely ruined it! They'll never let us adopt anything! Not even a dog!" Cecil cried, looking up at Carlos.

Carlos just looked down at him, then reached a hand up to comb it through Cecil's hair gently. "I don't think that's true," he murmured. "You rescued me. If it was you alone, then no, they probably wouldn't. But the two of us? I'm there for the day to day things, with you backing my up. And when something happens? You're there to fuck up the day of anyone who dared to mess with our babies," he said, his voice cheerful.

Cecil had to laugh, a shakey and watery noise, at the look on Carlos' face. "The first thing I did was teach you to swear," he said with a choked up laugh.

Carlos burst out laughing. "Yes, yes that is true. But to be honest, I'm amazed I didn't do the same," he said, looking down at Cecil with a small smile. "Sweetheart, you're the Voice of Night Vale. They can't deny you this."

"Especially with you by my side," Cecil said quietly, burying his face in to Carlos' bare chest. "You're naked," he added with a grin in to Carlos' chest hair.

"As the day I was born," Carlos commented with a grin.

Cecil smiled. "I like it," he said, snuggling up against his sweet, perfect Carlos, who just laughed and held Cecil tight.

\-----

The knock on the door later that morning made Cecil tense up. That had to be the Council's decision. He didnt want to look. He couldn’t bear to see how disappointed Carlos would be when he read it.

So he fled. He ran into the bedroom and sat on the bed with his knees pulled up to his chest and a lump in his stomach the size of an ox.

He heard as Carlos answered the door, his voice carefully thanking the messenger child that was sent, and he heard the tearing of an envelope.

"Cecil?" He called, then his face stuck through the door. "Cecil, you silly creature, what are you doing in here?" He asked with a laugh.

"I didn't want to see," Cecil whispered, tears pricking at his eyes as he looked up at Carlos helplessly.

"Well sweetheart, we need to find a house. Or at least a bigger apartment. One bedrooms may be good for a couple, but not for a family," Carlos said with a grin, and Cecil didn't understand his meaning.

Family? But they couldn't...

Unless...

"They approved us?" Cecil whispered, a disbelieving smile breaking on his face.

Carlos laughed and nodded, stepping over to Cecil. Cecil could see the letter in his hand, and he grabbed for it. Carlos handed it over, and Cecil greedily read it.

"Mr. Scientist and Mr. Palmer,

Your request to be considered as potential adoptive parents has been reviewed. The current decision is that Mr. Scientist is a model parent, although Mr. Palmer is not. However, we have decided to approve your joint application."

It continued on like that, saying that they would have to find a larger living space before they could adopt, and that Carlos would be the primary caregiver, but Cecil barely cared.

They could still adopt, despite the massive fuck-up Cecil had made of his trial.

He was crying, his hand pressed over his mouth, but it was happy this time.

Carlos laughed gently and pulled him close in to a hug. "We're going to be parents, sweetheart," he said joyfully, and Cecil could just nod and cry and smile.

“We’re going to be daddies,” he whispered, beaming up at Carlos.

Carlos grinned back at him. “We’re going to be _daddies_ ,” he repeated. 

 


	3. Thera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cecil and Carlos become a family! 
> 
> A small epilogue.

Cecil took the wrapped form from the orphanage official, his eyes only on the tiny face in the blanket. Carlos was standing behind him, with his hand on Cecil’s shoulder gently.

“Her name is Thera,” the official said stiffly and disapprovingly as it looked at Cecil holding the little girl - their little girl.

“Thera… I love it,” Cecil said, and Carlos smiled. Everything had been worth it for this moment.

“You will need this non-standard car-seat for her, however,” the official said, gesturing to the box behind it.

Carlos blinked. “Non-standard?” he asked, and the official turned blinking eyes to him.

“Yes. And other non-standard supplies are in there as well. You can get more at the Ralph’s,” the official said before turning away and walking away.

“But - “ Carlos protested weakly, and Cecil didn’t even seem to notice it walking away or Carlos staring helplessly after him, too busy cooing at Thera.

“Let’s see what kind of non-standard appendages you have, little Thera,” he cooed, starting to unwrap the blanket a little. A bulbous, furry backend twitched, the diaper around it only partially hiding it, and Thera made a protesting noise, a jointed leg emerging from the blanket in protest. “Okay little girl, let’s wrap you back up,” Cecil said, and Carlos just stared.

“Our daughter is half…” he started.

“Tarantula,” Cecil said with a smile, then that smile faded as he realized something. “Are you - are you alright with that?” he asked, chewing his lip a little as he clutched Thera closer.

Carlos blinked, and looked at the little face in the blanket. An adopted daughter who was half tarantula. He really should have expected something like that. But the little face poking out of the swaddling blankets was beautiful, and he had always liked tarantulas. “She’s our Thera. Why would I have a problem with that?” he asked with a smile, reaching out to stroke her cheek gently.

Cecil beamed at him, then passed Thera over to him. “You hold her, Papa,” he said with a laugh.

Carlos took the baby without a second thought, gently rocking Thera as he held her. The tarantula body felt strange against his arm, hard and stiff rather than the soft give of flesh that he was used to. Despite that, it felt… right. Like this was the way it should be.

“Hey there, Thera, I’m your papa,” he said softly, and Thera looked up at him with perfect dark eyes and giggled and he fell in love instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a fun cracky interlude to my normal pain and trauma. My semester is ending so I'll probably be posting more in the weeks to come. 
> 
> Let me know what you think about this! I love every comment I get. :)


End file.
